An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the […]

Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he’s pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, ‘Hey, Bob! How ya doin?’
His wife is puzzled and asks […]

NICKNAMES
1. If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
2. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
1. When the […]

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this guy, ‘Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven ?’
The guy replies, […]

A cowgirl walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, “You know, a mug goes flat after […]

A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won’t eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn’t tell them. His little boy keeps asking him, “What’s for dinner dad?”
“You’ll […]

A sales representative, an administration clerk and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”
“Me first! Me first!” says […]

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex […]

A minister was driving along and saw a woman on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift, which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg. The minister had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the […]