A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls”.
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a […]

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.
The Indian Chief proclaims, “So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?”
The […]

An Amish farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his pond, with his hand.
The Amish man shouts: “Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser, die Kühe und die Schweine haben darin geschissen!”
Which means: “Don’t drink the water, the cows and the pigs have shit in it!”
The man shouts back: “I’m a Muslim, I […]

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down […]

On the first day, God created the dog and said: ‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’
The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only […]

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. House for instance, is feminine: ‘la Casa’. Pencil, however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz’.
A student asked, ‘What gender is computer?’
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and […]

One day, a man visits a dentist with an aching tooth.
The dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.
‘No way! No needles. I hate needles!’ the patient exclaimed.
The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.
‘I can’t do the gas thing. The thought of having the […]

I recently asked my friend’s little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, “If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?”
She replied, “I’d give food […]

My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.
Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call, that she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. Seems she was forced to make an emergency landing in Hamilton […]