This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries . . . but now we know.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race . . . you’re a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework . . . you’re a pansy.

If you work too hard . . . there’s never any time for her.

If you don’t work enough . . . you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay . . . this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay . . . you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her . . . that is favoritism

If she gets a job ahead of you . . . it’s equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks . . . it’s sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet . . . it’s male indifference.

If you cry . . . you’re a wimp.

If you don’t . . . you’re an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her . . . you’re a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you . . . she’s a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy . . . that’s domination.

If SHE asks you . . . it’s a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear . . . you’re a pervert.

If you don’t . . . you’re gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape . . . you’re sexist.

If you don’t . . . you’re unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape . . . you’re vain.

If you don’t . . . you’re a slob.

If you buy her flowers . . . you’re after something.

If you don’t . . . you’re not thoughtful.

If you’re proud of your achievements . . . you’re full of yourself.

If you don’t . . . you’re not ambitious.

If she has a headache . . . she’s tired.

If you have a headache . . . you don’t love her anymore.

If you want it too often . . . you’re oversexed.

If you don’t . . . there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to!