After a long day strutting his stuff on the runway for top fashion designers, this guy’s dressed down. He’s ready to relax and hit up the local bar scene for some brew and bar eats. Maybe he’ll find his soul mate through the haze of stale cigarette smoke and the noisy din of alcohol fueled conversation. At least that’s what his delusional mind is telling him. Dude looks like a lady…ummm well maybe not. More like this crazy bird’s been sleeping under the LA freeway system for a couple decades after he started dropping acid pills. At least put shorts on, bro…

Poor Bob… He just retired from working 40 long years at a mustard packing plant and had planned this cross country vacation for years. With most of his life savings, he purchased a new truck and travel trailer to comfortably experience his planned road trip. On the afternoon of his journey’s beginning, he sets off to the bank to withdraw some vacation funds. Forgetting he’s pulling a very large trailer, he cruises into the bank’s drive-through and the inevitable occurs. May poor Bob rest in peace…

I can safely hypothesize that this idiot just ruined whatever vacation he was on. It almost looks like he lost his life also. I don’t see how anyone could live through a truck cab being crushed so badly. Who takes their fifth wheel through a drive through anyhow?

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves.

One of the women shouted to him, ‘We’re not coming out until you leave!’

The old man frowned and replied, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.’ Holding the bucket up he said, ‘I’m here to feed the alligator.’

Moral of the story: Old men may move slow but can still think fast!

I’m pretty sure the company that designed and sells these shorts didn’t intend to have them worn below both cheeks. How in the world is this guy holding his drawers up? Maybe he’s got safety pins on the inside of his underwear attaching both articles of clothing together. It could also be safe to say that his shorts were just too loose on him and they fell off, but he kept walking like nothing happened. Either way, this is a big failure of human decency in my book.

The guys at JibJab.com are at it again. It’s been four long years since they’ve done a electoral satire. The first video satire they did called “This Land” was really funny and poked fun at both political party opponents. This latest video creation does the same. Bidding farewell to Bush, the JibJab guys give Obama and McCain a proper hazing. Don’t forget about Bill and Hilary Clinton. There’s a spanking in there for them also.

Back in September 2003, Kootoo Shaw, an Inuit hunting guide, was hunting caribou with three American hunters near the Arctic village of Kimmirut in Nunavut, the northernmost territory of Canada. After a hard day of tracking ungulates and dealing with the ballsy attitudes of American with big guns, he slept soundly beneath the clear Arctic sky. Sometime in the early morning hours, a polar bear strolled into camp and took a swat at the first tent where the Americans slept. Then he headed for Shaw’s tent, ripped it open and started clawing Shaw’s back and gnawing on his scalp. Luckily, the American hunters shot and killed the bear before it inflicted a fatal wound.

Shaw needed 300 stitches to reattach his scalp after he was rushed to a nearby medical clinic. He was also treated for the countless bites and gashes on his feet, back, and arms. This guy is very lucky to be alive since polar bears can and will eat humans.

Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he’s pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, ‘Hey, Bob! How ya doin?’

His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.

‘Oh no,’ says Bob. ‘He’s in my bowling team.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, ‘How did she know that you drink Budweiser?’

‘I recognize her; she’s the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.’

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, ‘Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?’
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It’s time to get the guns out and let the lead fly. This video was taken in 2005. Since then the price of bullets has risen tremendously for two reasons. Demand has gone up because of two wars and the soaring prices for the bullets’ main ingredients: lead and copper. I’ve heard of police departments cutting back on target practice to avoid cost over-run. Even hunters in Alaska are getting hit hard. This year I’m sure the participants of the Oklahoma Full Auto Shoot are being a bit more conservative on the bullets.

The funniest part of this video is when this guy has his young daughter go full throttle behind an automatic weapon. Talk about teaching your kids the important things in life! I guess it’s better than having an uncomfortable conversation about the birds and the bees…

Some day I would like to spend a couple weeks in Australia. I dream of soaking up the festive harvest-season atmosphere of Southern Australia’s wine country, frolicking with Great Whites while scuba diving the vast Great Barrier Reef, and swapping tall tales with Aborigines around a small campfire in the Golden Outback. However, these dreams may be dashed into thousands of pieces if I have to deal with poisonous spiders so big, they have health bars. OMG! If your are afraid of giant insects and other poisonous creepy crawlies, then Australia may not be your ticket to a serene and relaxing vacation.

Imagine taking a 12 hour epic flight from smoggy Los Angeles to beautiful Sydney, hopping a quick flight to Port Douglas, and driving along the scenic coast to Daintree to reach a kickass Eco Lodge in the waning evening hours. You snuggle into a cozy bed after a whole day of exhaustive travel and fall asleep dreaming of your Australian adventures to follow. Come early morning, you wake well-rested and eagerly sit up in bed. Glancing toward the window you notice an eight legged behemoth staring down at you through beady little eyes. Before you can scream, it launches at you from it’s crouched position with venomous fangs unsheathed and health bar at full capacity. Luckily the bed netting is still up and shields you from a certain traumatizing death. See More Motivational Posters!