Two Arabs are in a locker room taking a shower after their racquetball game, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt.

“If you do not mind me saying,” said the second, “that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?”

“I can not”, lamented the first Arab. “It is permanently stuck in my butt.”

“I do not understand,” said the other. The first Arab says, “I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in red, white and blue attire, with a white beard and top hat came oozing out. He said, ‘I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.’”

“I said, “No shit.”

I do feel sorry for this poor person when they wake up in the morning, sit up and knock their head, and have all the furniture come tumbling down on them. Actually now that I think of it, I’m not sorry at all. You’re the one that decided to get yourself into that alcoholic stupor. Now you will pay! *rubs hands together gleefully*

Back in my college days, I’m certainly glad I never had dumb ass roommates that might torment me when I passed out from too much Jagermeister. Well maybe they did and I just don’t know about it yet. Maybe some scandalous photos will resurface in the future as blackmail if I ever wanted to run for office.

OMG! I live in Alaska with long cold winters, yet this video blows me away…not literally. It looks like great weather for kite boarding! That’s a pure blizzard in the truest sense with lots of snow and gale force winds. I think it would be a great life experience to live in Antarctica for a few months just to say you’ve been there and to have something cool to tell your grandkids.

10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge .
8. Counselor, let’s do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in law isn’t:
1. Think you can get me off?

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting kinda tired of how this whole presidential campaign is dragging on and on. I think the media has had a pivotal influence on hyping up this political race from the very beginning. The candidates have really played off of this hype and have held rally after rally…interview after interview. We’ve all heard so much from these candidates that we are now hearing the same rhetoric over and over again. All the candidates are sounding like broken records and we still have over 6 months to go!

Of course there is the usual political humor that’s created with every political campaign. In today’s technological advanced society, viral videos have become the hottest medium for poking fun at politicians or getting your opinionated message across. However, these fun flicks have not replaced the old fashioned political campaign buttons that many still wear proudly at rallys or at the office. You won’t catch me wearing a stupid button; I’d rather sport a t-shirt with my opinion because it makes a bigger statement and t-shirts don’t sting the chest area…

Here’s a time lapse video of a man who was stuck in an NYC elevator for over 40 hours. This would really suck in my opinion. I wonder why it took maintenance workers almost 2 days to figure out that the elevator wasn’t working? I could keep asking all the obvious questions, but the simple fact remains…the dude lost 40 hours of his life and I’m sure he’s sueing someone’s ass all up and down the East Coast.

Can you imagine what sort of video we’d be seeing if this guy was claustrophobic? He’d be tearing stuff up, then start crying like a baby, tear up more stuff while bloodying himself, and then start wailing like an infant again. Now that’s entertainment…

My wife uses Skype a few time a week to call her relatives in Russia for only 4 cents a minute. Now that’s pretty damn cheap I’d say. I’m sure she’d run up a frakin’ expensive phone bill if she didn’t use this service. Now Skype is offering a monthly subscription payment plan. For $9.95 a month, users can make unlimited calls worldwide to 34 countries. Calling cell phones in five of these countries is included. Unfortunately, Russia is not one of the 34 countries on the subscription list, but maybe someday soon it will be. Below is a list of all countries included in the plan. If you haven’t tried Skype, you should check it out.

Captain Kirk had it made. He could practically get a new lady every episode because those Star Trek script writers thought it would be funny to play with his mind and heart. However, it never worked on Kirk because the man was such a pimp. He loved women and if it meant losing one every episode, just to gain another the next…so be it. The man was like a kid in a candy store, except with more hair and without the excitability. See More Motivational Posters!

Wow…this is pretty cool! I wonder how long it took these guys to get the pitch and placement just right to recreate the Mario theme song? Probably a few hours at least I’d say… I wish I had time to play with RC cars and half empty beer bootles. Then I could recreate the whole World of Warcraft sound track and become a viral video star! Or not…