I’m not exactly sure what’s going on in this special Kodak moment. However, three things are fairly certain though…the kid’s terrified of bad horse teeth, the horse loves the smell of cotton candy, and the kid’s wearing a University of Georgia tshirt. What does this tell us? Nothing really from first glance, but we may be able to conjure an imaginative tale from these three clues.

One day, Little Johnny was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. I know I know, this is headed down a twisted, dark path but just bear with me. Johnny loved horses and grew up playing with My Little Ponies while other little boys his age were fragging noobs in games like Halo and Call of Duty. Johnny’s dad was a rabid Georgia Bulldogs fan and had season tickets for the Bulldogs football season. He made his son wear Bulldog fatigues everyday. After being diagnosed with brain cancer, he took Little Johnny to a horse ranch to get the ultimate tour.

Having never seen a real horse, the kid was excited. The dad purchased cotton candy to make the tour more enjoyable. Little did they know, that an ornery horse named Willie had a craving for cotton candy and would be anything thing to have it. After that fateful day Little Johnny plays with My Little Ponies no more… See More Motivational Posters!

How in the world did she manage this one? Did her whiskey drinking daddy suddenly have the urge to practice his amateur dart skills by precariously setting a bruised apple a top her head? Maybe this unlucky girl had a squabble with her ornery little brother who ran into the family den, broke into the dart board accessory cabinet, and hurdled a dart missile at his sister. Or she could’ve been running with darts like she does with scissors all the time and tripped over the family dog. Who knows? Either way she’s in a whole world of hurt and that looks like she needs a little surgery and a lot of aspirin.

This is really creepy… Tickle Me Elmo catches on fire, and likes it. It’s just like a morbid scene out of a Chucky movie. You know…the movies about evil murderous toys that come to life and wreck havoc on our lives… Yeah, those movies…

These Tickle Me Elmo toys are hard to find, especially the dancing one around Christmas time. I’ve looked the last two holiday seasons online and in town and sure as shit couldn’t find any. But here’s a guy burning one for sheer pleasure… WTH!

A cowgirl walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.

She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

The cowgirl replies, “Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I’m drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself.” The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
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Have you ever gone camping or taken a road trip and your bowels started to pray for mercy? You run into the campsite porta-potty or pull over at a rest stop and before you open the door handle, the stench overwhelms your nostrils like a swarm of angry yellow jackets. Gasping for oxygen you fling open the door to reveal an ungodly sight of black flies, pee puddles, and poop paintings. After you recoil in sheer horror, your intestines growl again…complaining about that bean burrito you ate for breakfast. As you step hesitantly inside the sewage throne room, your right foot slips on something off-brown and you land face down in a lake of stale urine.

Well, you don’t have to worry about walking into a scenario like this ever again. Uncle Booger’s got a fix for you. It’s called a Bumper Dumper. This is a hitched mounted portable toilet that will use any size toilet seat. That’s right…just attach this baby to the hitch of your truck and away you go. Works great with a 5 gallon bucket or a large trash bag.

This is wicked awesome! If you’re an avid guitarist, you’ll be drooling over the Moog guitar after you see this video. The Moog guitar is basically a sustainer guitar. From my understanding a sustainer allows a tone/note to sustain after a guitar string is plucked. Correct me if I’m wrong please. What makes the Moog guitar so unique and different from other sustain guitars is it’s ability to MUTE the strings, actually physically stopping the strings’ vibration. The only downside I can see is this guitar requires specific Moog strings. You can use other strings but only in emergency situations. For more info on this, check out The Moog Guitar website.

I totally need to go out and find this doormat for my house. I’m tired of strange people slinking up to my door at weird hours of the night asking for sugar or milk duds. I got no sugar bitch! What the hell! I have some salt though I can dump in your good eye…

Even though this doormat seems PhotoShopped, I’m sure I could beat around the Internet bush and find something similar to this. Or at least find it on a t-shirt. Anyone seen any good doormats lately?

Wow! I’ve never thought of a hand dryer in this way. It totally makes sense…push button to receive bacon. Those squiggly little lines do look like bacon, don’t they? Now I totally want to vandalize every hand dryer I come across. It would make anyone using it lol and totally make their day. I’d better not get caught though…I could be slapped with a hefty fine.

I’ve always found hand dryers take forever to dry your hands…even after splattering wetness all over the mirror by some hand shaking. It’s supposed to save energy and trees, but man it’s slow! I don’t like to leave the restrooms with wet hands or dry my hands on my pants. Have you ever shaken someone’s hand after they’ve left the restroom and their hands are wet? Nasty! I don’t want to be “that guy”… See More Motivational Posters!

Yesterday, Steve Jobs introduced a cheaper and more feature-rich iPhone than the original. He did this in a 107 minute keynote speech. That’s long winded imo. Here’s a break-down video of that speech in 60 seconds. It cuts through all the crap and we hear/see what we really want to hear/see.

The new iPhone is still 8gb, but will cost $199 instead of $399. I’d rather doubt Apple’s making a profit on this. To compensate, they will be raising the price of their service a bit. So all those that will purchase the new phone, will still be paying $399 and much more in service plans. At least you’ll get GPS functionality and a faster phone.