A young man from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?” The kid says “Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota .”

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many customers bought something from you today?”

The kid says “One”.

The boss says “Just One? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?”

The kid says “$101, 237.65″.

The boss says “$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?”
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If you’re having problems in the boob identification department, this little chart is for you! Now you can tell if the boobs in question are Block Busters or Bee Stings. You can even identify the difference between Under Chinners and Sweet Potatoes. If anyone asks, tell them you can never be too careful…lol.

This is what I call subliminal messaging. You see what you want to see in my opinion. What do you see in these drawings? I see a brilliant and creative cartoon artist. I don’t know what you’re thinking, you pervert!

Scholars have long debated the exact ethnicity and nationality of Jesus.

Recently, at a theological meeting in Rome, scholars had a heated debate on this subject. One by one, they offered their evidence.

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN
1. His first name was Jesus
2. He was bilingual
3. He was always being harassed by the authorities

But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS BLACK
1. He called everybody “brother”
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn’t get a fair trial

But then there were equally good arguments that JESUS WAS JEWISH
1. He went into His Father’s business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God
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Why watch superheroes when you can create your own? Over at UGO.com, you can create your own fantasy character by using their HeroMachine 2.5. If you like to watch superheroes battle it out on the big screen or love personalizing your characters in video games, you should check out the HeroMachine!

The image on your left is my handy work. It took me a little while to create this guy, but he looks bad ass and ready to take on any villain in a gladiator ring… Let’s see what you can come up with. Submit your superheroes by leaving comments!

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User.
_____________________________________

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

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This is disturbing… I guess we need to know about these kinda things this day and age. I wonder what the Taliban think of this guy. They’d probably hang him high… Maybe he’s a prostitute playing dress up…or not. Could it be that he’s bringing sexy back? *shivers*

Wow…what a tool! This guy’s either a real choda boy or he’s doing a great job acting like one. I actually know a couple guys that act like this 24/7 and they aren’t pleasant to be around. Great to make fun of though… You can purchase some “My New Haircut” tshirts at L2X Productions. “Everyone should see how jacked and tan I am”…lol.

If you see this lady turning in clockwise you are using your right brain. If you see it the other way, you are using left brain. Some people do see both ways, but most people see it only one way. See if you can make her go one way and then the other by shifting the brain’s current. BOTH DIRECTIONS CAN BE SEEN!

I tried this and it made my brain hurt…lol. Right away the image was rotating clockwise. Then I looked away and looked back and it was going counter-clockwise. WTF?

Experimentation has shown that the two different sides, or hemispheres, of the brain are responsible for different manners of thinking. The following table illustrates the differences between left-brain and right-brain thinking:

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