Silence! I kill you! Here is Achmed the Dead Terrorist from Jeff Dunham’s Comedy Central and new DVD, Spark Of Insanity. This guy Jeff’s an awesome ventriloquist and does an excellent job even with the Middle Eastern accent. His skeleton of a puppet died by suicide bombing but thinks he’s still alive…lol.

DEMOCRAT
• You have two cows.
• Your neighbor has none.
• You feel guilty for being successful.

REPUBLICAN
• You have two cows.
• Your neighbor has none.
• So?

SOCIALIST
• You have two cows.
• The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
• You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
• You have two cows.
• The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
• You wait in line for hours to get it.
• It is expensive and sour.
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Some people have way too much time on their hands. Making clothing out of balloons may be fun for those in the fashion industry that are bored with actual cloth. I guess the one positive thing is you don’t have to worry about whether or not your car’s air bag will deploy if you get into a head on collision. Safety first! Now where’s my darts? My dart skillz need some practice…

It’s a sad day in NFL history. After flirting with retirement for years, Brett Favre really means it this time. The Green Bay Packers quarterback has retired after a 17-season career in which he dazzled fans with his grit, heart and rocket of an arm. Even if you’re not a Packers fan, you’ve got to admit that a legacy has ended. The 38-year-old exits as the NFL career leader in touchdown passes and passing yards. He’s leaving us with 5,377 career completions in 8,758 attempts for 61,655 yards, 442 touchdowns and 288 interceptions. I watched him play a phenomenal season this last year…leading the Packers to a 13-3 season. He says he can still play, but that he’s tired mentally. You can read more about Brett’s retirement announcement at nfl.com.

Who said rednecks can’t live in style? This is what I call taking limited acreage and making the most out of it. It’s pretty ingenious in my opinion. Can you imagine growing up as a kid in this place? All the neighbor kids would want to hang out at your pad. If you’re thinking about slapping together your own redneck mansion, you might want to use something better than duct tape and chicken wire!

OMG! It’s Darth Hideous! Do we really want Hillary as president? I don’t know about you, but Photoshop can do wonders in turning the tide during a political election. I’d like to credit my graphics designer friends, Jamin and Cassandra for creating these images. They rawk! Now let’s see the other presidential candidates as Sith Lords… I think John McCain would make an interesting looking Sith.

An atheist was walking through the woods.
“What majestic trees”!
“What powerful rivers”!
“What beautiful animals”!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up
but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him
with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, “Oh my God!”

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

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At this months Geneva Motor Show, Alfa Romeo will introduce their 8C Spider. Imagine sitting behind the wheel of this Italian dream machine that’s expected to go from 0 to 60 in 4.2 seconds. Using the same 4.7-liter V8 engine as the company’s hard-topped 8C Competizione, this sexy supercar’s top speed will be in the 180mph range. With a limited production of 500 cars, there should be a high demand for these, even with the 130,000 pounds or $260,000 price tag. I don’t know about you, but my heart beats slightly faster just looking at this baby. Two tickets to the Geneva please! For more info, check out Automobile Mag’s review.

Anyone remember the original video called the “Evolution of Dance”? Here’s the link to it on YouTube. It was a very popular video last year and has over 76 million views on Youtube. Someone gave me the link to the Transformer version today and I thought I’d share.