One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’

My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up. Then she said, (as only a mother would know), “‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?”

Apparently bowlers from Bolivia of all places are utilizing a two handed bowling technique and winning lots of bowling medals. Developed by an Australian bowler named Jason Belmonte, this technique provides the bowler with more stability and the ability to give a little extra spin on that ball as it heads down the polished wood lane to demolish the taunting pins. The thumb is not inserted into the thumb hole of the ball and there is still a back swing to the technique. These Bolivian bowlers make it look easy, but I’m sure they’ve practiced quite a bit to get it perfected. I’d try this out, but bowling is expensive if you’re trying to practice to improve. I’d probably have to do this 4 or 5 hours a day for awhile to get it right and that’s a lot of moolah. Maybe I should just own a bowling alley and practice whenever.

No matter how much they think they know, all parents need a little help parenting once in awhile. Be it a first time father or the mother of 14 with a clown car for a vagina, the baby making brains of these parents have turned into mushy organs and their thoughts are not structured with common sense. A little wisdom can go a long way…

Take for instance the simple task of checking a baby’s diaper to see if it needs changing. Which of the 5 senses should you use to accomplish this disgusting, but necessary task? Reach in to feel for slimy defecation or use your nose to sniff out any smelly excretions? The average non-parent would immediately pick the latter since it’s just the right thing to do. Your muddle minded parent may not possess the ability to make a wise decision and may end up with a bit of a surprise.

That’s why the following instructional signs can be helpful in leading a person down the right path of parenting. Whether you are exercising a baby or feeding a baby, these helpful tools will help you keep a solid focus on the tasks at hand and will prevent you from making a fool out of yourself. As for the side show circus mother with 14 kids, it’s already too late for her. She derailed herself from simple sanity a long time ago.

My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call, that she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. Seems she was forced to make an emergency landing in Hamilton because of bad weather. Thank God the kids weren’t with her.

The FAA issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: She was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating).

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.

The photograph below was taken at the scene to show the extent of damage to her aircraft.

She was really lucky.

What is clean coal? Wikipedia states that “Clean coal technology is an umbrella term used to describe technologies being developed that aim to reduce the environmental impact of coal energy generation.” In my humble opinion, the term “clean coal” is an oxymoron. Coal pollutes the land and water when you mine it. It pollutes the air when you burn it and the residual ash contains toxins that leach into the environment when its stored. Strip mining has destroyed millions of acres of native soil in the last 150 years and over 104,000 miners have died mining coal in America since 1900. Why is the government spending billions of dollars on a fantasy when it could be spent towards more practical and renewable methods of obtaining energy such as solar, wind, and hydrogen? Visit thisisreality.org to learn more and see some mind boggling facts about coal and the facade that is clean coal.

This dog’s a trip! I thought my canine did some strange things in her sleep, but running while sleeping and slamming into a wall tops anything she’s done. I wonder if this dog feels embarrassed in any way? He’s does seem to be running from something cause he doesn’t look like he’s happily chasing a ball. At one point, he turn around and snaps at something near his butt as if something grabbed a hold of him. Sounds like a doggie nightmare to me…

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside a Maryland immigration office. “Good man,” the fairy said, “I’ve been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and three children.”

The man told the fairy, “Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.”

The fairy looked at the man’s almost toothless grin and — PING ! — he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

“What else?” asked the fairy, “two more to go.”

The refugee claimant now got bolder. “I need a big house with a three car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country. I want to bring them all over here.”

PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay.

“One more wish,” said the fairy, waving her wand. “Yes, one more wish.”

“I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these torn clothes, and a baseball cap instead of this turban. And I want to have white skin like Americans.”

PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt, and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.

“What happened to my new teeth?” he wailed. “Where is my new house?”

The fairy said “Tough shit, Mac. Now that you are a white American, you have to fend for yourself.”

And she disappeared.

Devin Harris with the Nets went a little buckwild against the Sixers in the closing seconds of the basketball game earlier this week. He gets fouled just before half court, recovers the ball, and shoots a Hail Mary that swishes perfectly to win the game for the Nets. That is one crazy shot! If he wasn’t fouled, he would’ve been called for traveling. However, that was a really long 1.8 seconds on the clock. The officials started the clock half a second later than they should have. If they were more accurate, the shot would’ve probably been counted as out of regulation. But you can’t argue that it’s an impressive shot…

Redneck Harley

Redneck Bass Boat

Redneck Grill

Redneck Horseshoes

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