According to the person who sent this, the driver has only been in the U.S. a few months. He had missed his turn by Billings, Montana. And figured he could go over the hill and continue on the road. Apparently he didn’t know there were rail tracks on top of the grade which doesn’t matter, he’d be stuck anyhow… The truck owner figures he had to hit the angle at over 55 miles an hour in order to make the top. If you look close at some of the pictures you will see that it is only when the trailer pinched the rear tires of the truck that the truck stopped… Can you believe this guy that he would even THINK of doing this? ‘Here’s your sign.’

I love the third picture that shows the tracks going through the field to get there. What a genius!!! I’m surprised he didn’t take the power / communication line down with him! I wish I had pictures of him standing in front of his boss.

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive…
so, I took her to a gas station…
and then the fight started…

********

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too’.
And then the fight started…

********

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’
‘Yes,’ I sighed, ’she’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
And then the fight started…
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OMG that’s vile! I thought that chick as kinda cute at first, but not anymore. It’s interesting how someone’s action can make you go, “Oh hell no”. She probably had a flaming turd burrito from Taco Smell for lunch and her stomach was about to explode. A small little squeeze is all she needed to relieve the rising pressure. Unbeknown to her, some liquid brown goodness was obliged to follow the path of least resistance. Well this girl definitely has a story to tell and she’ll be the blunt end of her friends’ jokes until she gets tired of being made fun of and gets new friends. I guarantee she won’t be snacking on burritos at Taco Smell anytime soon…lol.

These hosers were lollygagging around the back woods of North Eastern British Columbia last winter with their lifted Jeep Wranglers. After having a few cold brewskies, fearless leader Ethan saw an ample opportunity to show off his 4×4ing skills on a dead spruce tree laying on the snow packed trail. Shaking his head to try and clear his foggy double vision, he gunned the engine and lined the front driver-side tire up with the downed tree. His passenger Logan yelled something inaudible but it was too late. The end of the spruce tree came inches from Ethan’s manhood.

Doesn’t it look like the tree was really close to the driver’s crotch area? Man that would be a scary situation! I guess this is what happens when you drink too much and off road your Jeep. Your judgment goes out the window.

A young woman was finishing her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and was very much in favor of the “redistribution of wealth.”

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?”
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If this isn’t a dysfunctional family, I don’t know what is. At least this family’s happy and content with themselves. You’ve got grandma who’s beaming with pride because her daughter-in-law’s pouring a bottle of Smirnoff over her dirty pillows so her husband can lick it off. Uncle Dan on the far left just can’t get enough of his brother getting free booze and a titty show…lol. Little Baby Anne just sits there sucking her pacifier taking it all it. She learning some valuable life lessons from her stripper mom on how to keep your husband happy while making it a family affair. But it’s also making her terribly hungry for some warm milk, which may spoil the evening’s festivities if she starts screaming for a nipple. Uncle Mark needs to keep Baby Anne in check instead of seriously studying his sister’s fun bags. Why is he the only one not smiling? See More Motivational Posters!

Go Granny! That’s right. You don’t let some douche bag in a shiny Mercedes convertible honk at you. Put the hand bag hurt on his impatient ass! Give him some airbag embarrassment…lol. The look on this guy’s face after the air bag deployed is priceless. This is probably a fake video because the air bag shouldn’t deploy below 25mph unless it was a manufacturer problem, but the jerk still deserved it.

A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man comes into the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread - on the very top shelf - he politely says to the young woman, “I’d like some raisin bread, please.”

She climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, providing the young man with an excellent view, just as he surmised she would. When she comes down the ladder, he says he really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.

As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he orders a loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread just to watch the young woman climb up and down.
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Some people will do anything for an adrenaline rush…like kite boarding in a hurricane. Wow what a novel idea! Let’s strap ourselves to a parachute and surf board and see how far hurricane force winds can carry us off Fort Lauderdale beach and into the city. Maybe those voluptuous girls swooning over that life guard will take notice. Well maybe not… Some ideas just don’t live up to their hype do they? Let’s reflect on our little adventure mishap while we take shots of morphine to deaden the pain of internal bleeding and broken limbs.

According to this news website, the 26 year old surfer by the name of Kevin Kearney was blown away by a forming waterspout. He is in critical condition at a local hospital. Let’s hope he recovers to tell his tale of flying like Superman for a few seconds.