I totally need to go out and find this doormat for my house. I’m tired of strange people slinking up to my door at weird hours of the night asking for sugar or milk duds. I got no sugar bitch! What the hell! I have some salt though I can dump in your good eye…

Even though this doormat seems PhotoShopped, I’m sure I could beat around the Internet bush and find something similar to this. Or at least find it on a t-shirt. Anyone seen any good doormats lately?