I would have to say that this is the ultimate groom’s cake. All the groom is thinking about is getting laid on his wedding night and sequential nights for the rest of his blissful marriage life. Of course, the latter part is a wonderful dream that will be slowly crushed as the frequency of hand jobs, blow jobs, and other kinky things he experienced while dating fades away into a swirling blackhole…never to return. He will eventually come to the realization that the only shred of hope he has is maybe some spooning action will lead to a lazy quickie once in a blue moon.

This cake probably wouldn’t go over too well with the bride’s parents if the cake decorator brought in this piece of art two hours before the ceremony. Can you imagine the chaos this would cause? Howie Mandel should do something like this for his new show: Howie Do It. He could be that cake decorator and that would be Epic…